back to the bookshelf

I figured that with Pandora playing Throwing Muses I’d make some quick notes on a few books I’ve read recently.

working in a bookstore has it’s perks, such as being one of the first to hear about a new title before it hits the shelves. one that I was anticipating based on it’s early reviews was The Magicians by Lev Grossman. as a child Quentin Coldwater was fascinated by the magical land of Fillory (think Narnia). Quentin grows up to be a brilliant loner as he graduates high school and tries to come to a decision about his direction. he is invited to attend a magical college in upstate New York (think Hogwarts). while the book seems to draw alot from Harry Potter and C.S. Lewis, Grossman is able to move beyond the original inspiration and deliver a book that is hilarious. packed with everything you expect to find in college (sex, drugs, conflict, and so on), this is not a book for the kids. I highly recommend it!

The Unincorporated Man by Dan and Eytan Kollin. reminiscent of a good Heinlein novel. Jusitn Cord is a multi-millionaire diagnosed with terminal cancer. he has himself cryogenically frozen, and is awakened 300 years later. in this future society each individual is incorporated, and most spend their lives trying to buy up enogh of their personal stock to own a majority of themselves. Cord is the only free man, and tries to change the system while it tries to bring him down. very well written, I was attracted to this book because of an article I read in the Boston Globe a few months before detailing how some college students, in an effort to raise tuition money, are signing deals with corporations to turn over a precentage of their income over a fixed term after graduation.

Gotrek and Felix, the Third Omnibus by Nathan Long. two of the more popular Warhammer characters, Nathan Long took over the series from the original author and has breathed new life into it. Warhammer novels are not high fantasy. they are quick reads, tend to be violent and bloody, and at the end no one is happy.

Game Six by Mark Frost details the sixth game of the 1975 World Series between the Red Sox (yay!) and the Cincinati Reds (boo!) that ended with Carlton Fisk’s walk-off homer in extra innings. Frost follows the game pitch by pitch and gives great descriptions of the key players. the biography of Luis Tiant is exceptional.

Generatioin X by Douglas Coupland. currently re-reading this. the book that gave Gen X it’s name. at times it does seem dated, but if you’re a fan of the movies Reality Bites or Singles you should read this too.

The Engines Of God by Jack McDevitt. Having read all his other books, I was looking forward to this one, and it is just as entertaining as the rest. certainly an earlier work, it doesn’t have the polish of other stories, but still worth a read.

in the meantime; Pandora has come up with some great selections so far, reminding me how much I like Bettie Serveert!

New Hampshire getaway

this weekend we went to stay at the Mountain Club on Loon Mountain for a much needed rest. the room was ok; more like a hotel then somewhere I’d think of as a time-share. it needs updating and refreshing, as the paint in the hallways is chipped and orange. the floor we were on was stuffy, and we had no control over the room temp. we ended up leaving the porch door cracked open to cool off a little.

I have never been sold on New Hampshire. I love Maine, and Vermont is very nice. but NH? the places always seem a bit run down and just not as nice as elsewhere. and the people always seem surly. it’s not the ‘Live Free Or Die’ Libertarian ethic, because Libertarians as business people are always very happy to get your money. it just seems to me that in NH they could care less if you like them or not, and may even be happier with ‘not’.

as an example; the food service we had all weekend was poor. the serivce took a long time, and was spotty. the first night we ate at the Mountain Club in their Black Diamond pub. we were seated very quickly, as they had just opened for the night. there were three other tables seated just before us. then we waited.

after about ten minutes our server got around to her tables and took drink orders. then we waited again. after another 10+ minutes the bus guy (he was probably in his late 20’s) filled the water glasses at each table (spilling ALOT of water on the floor by each seat). he brought the other two tables bread and butter, but we didn’t feel cheated yet because our drinks came before anyone else’s. at one point the guy at the table behind me offered trade some bread for a beer. since he was getting Corona and I had Sam’s Octoberfest I politlely passed.

suffice to say that the rest of the meal took over an hour and a half of wait time, and with just five tables (one just ordering drinks) and two wait-staff, that seems excessive to me. we never did get our bread. the highlight for me was Tuckerman’s Pale Ale. it was lighter than the Sams, not suprisingly since it was the Octoberfest brew, but was a decent pale. slightly hoppy, and went very well with the bratwurst dinner. Robbin had the grilled chicken sandwhich with bourbon-soaked mushrooms and bacon. her meal was good (mine was average; previously frozen and then boiled sausage), and she had her old stand-by khalua sombrero.

the next day was a breakfast buffet at the Club. I think it was overpriced for a buffet, and the food was ok. we spent the day drving the Kancamagus Highway. like Skyline Drive in Shenandoah the road has many places to stop and view the scenery, as well as walking trails. we walked to Sabbaday Falls; a short .3 mile hike through the woods along the Sabbaday Brook. very beautiful. I’ll upload some pictures to facebook when I have a chance.

at the other end of the Kancamagus in North Conway we stopped at a small family restaurant called the 1790 Homestead. I really really wanted to like this place. it was just about the start of dinner service and there were several cars out front, usually meaning that locals eat there, and usually a good sign.

we were seated right away by a 16-year old member of the family. the room appeared to be a converted sitting room. our waiter, maybe not much older than the host, took his time getting to us and didn’t seem really bothered by that. he was flip, acting as though there were no problems with anything and chuckling to himself about his own humor. then we waited for our app. one table seated after us had their entire meal and were paying by the time our app came. we had mushrooms with lobster stuffing, and they were fantastic. heartened by this, we waited for dinner.

Robbin had a mushroom burger which she liked. I had a haddock sandwich that was bland. all in all it reinforced my impression of NH hospitality.

that night we went back to the Black Diamond for drinks and dessert, thinking that we could not possibly have to wait long for those. settling ourselves at the bar we ordered a flourless chocolate cake and khalua sombrero (Robbin) and a poached pear tart and Galliano on the rocks (for me). even here the bartender would disappear for minutes at a time. the food was rich and yum. I had never had Galliano before, and liked it alot. sweeter than Sambuca or Ouzo, it still had a good black licorice flavor.

all in all the drive and nature were fantastic. the time we spent together walking in the woods leaf-peeping and climbing down rocky slopes to get better pictures of the rivers was exactly what we went for. I recommend the Kancamagus, and taking the lift to the top of Loon Mountain to walk the trails. but NH remains my least favorite New England vacation spot.

back home now, and the puppies are happy to have us back.

moment mind

“who looks for me in form
who seeks me in a voice
indulges in watsed effort”
-the Diamond Sutra

after ten minutes I had lost all feeling in my legs. my thoughts drifted back and forth between the mantra and the physical sensations. clear mind..clear mind..don’t know….

it is a zen word game; who is this that meditates? don’t know..

your true self is before thinking. just as the tao that is written is not the true tao, your true self can not be explained. all that matters is this right-now moment. in this moment there is no separation between you and the rest of existence. in this moment is the universe.

Seung Sahn taught that in meditation you should not try to clear your mind of all thought. this is impractical and really not possible. thoughts will always pop into your head, and you should aknowledge them as they arise and then let them go. it takes time to learn how not to get caught up in the emotions that come with them, and even practiced meditators have moments of less than clarity.

what is thought? who is the thinker? even this goes beyond moment mind. once you try to put a name to something you are already trapped. you have separated yourself from the world, instead of simply being in it.

when I played hockey there were moments when everything around me stopped; I could not hear the people in the stands, and I wasn’t actively thinking about what I was doing. I was moving with the puck, and I saw with clarity the other players as they tried to step in front of me or take the puck away. I was in that moment, and was able to move around them and score. no thought involved; just that zone.

that is moment mind.

we all have experiences with this, sometimes mowing the lawn or doing the dishes. sometimes staring at the sunlight out of the window. holding your child, or grandchild.

I’m not trying to get at anything deep or exceptional, but this has been on my mind. it isn’t a religious experience, but people I know who practice prayer deeply talk in terms of losing a sense that the self is separated from God, and as a buddhist I can get behind that. it seems to me the same moment, with a different frame of reference.

honey you know this is not so bad…

here’s a post because I haven’t posted in a while. hopefully in the next few days I’ll have something new. this is from a journal. the song referenced is ‘aching for you’ by Kristin Hersh.

the front door was unlocked, so I crashed through it and ran up the stairs. No one was in the kitchen or the bedroom, so I went into the livingroom.

I put my books on the endtable and saw the beer bottles on the floor in the middle of the room. they were cold; condensation was dripping onto a piece of paper underneath. I picked the bottles up and looked at the note; it had a smiley-face and the word ‘porch’ written on it.

my first thought was that Marie was in a good mood today. the second was that we finally had beer money! I twisted off the caps and threw them wherever, then headed to the porch. the screen door was open. I could hear music playing and Marie singing along.

“we carry islands around on our backs,
we’re born-again vagrants”

she turned to see me watching her and smiled.

“we ask for nothing wherever we land
meanwhile; we got nothing, isn’t that something?”

Marie was wearing her new dress she bought for her new job with no shoes, and beaming brightly. her blonde hair still showed streaks of poppy-red dye. she pulled me onto the porch by my shirt. lightly grabbing my beard to pull my head down, she kissed my forehead.

“you know you’re truly bizzare? you’re changing all the rules
and I don’t need you, but I still want you bad,
you’re all I ever had”

she took a beer and held it to her cheek. her face clouded for a moment.

“it’s funny, it’s sad and it’s true
I’m aching, aching for you”

the song ended and she chugged the beer. “the FUCK!” she yelled to the sidewalk. she turned back and smiled again. the little girl in her face came out for the first time in more than a month. “got PAID!” she yelled. putting her arm around my waist and moving closer she looked up at me and said “and I was so mature and growed up that I got us food and wah-tuh so we can be healt’y and growed up an’ ’sponsible…”

she rested her head on my chest. “and I got beer so we can get shitfaced and say ‘fuck it’ while the food goes bad.” looking up at me again she smiled and said quietly “yay!”

the end of a good thing

last Tuesday we returned from Oceanside after visiting the kids and grandson for the week. we had a really good time, and it is great to see Zach growing up before our eyes. thanks to him I now know most of the words to every episode of Blue’s Clues. although he calls it ‘coo-coos’.

I went to work on Wednesday, and had a great day. it was great to be back with my friends, and fun was had by all. it was also a very productive day.

little did I know that it would be my last there.

on Thursday I went to a meeting at work and was told that my position was being eliminated. while I was certainly not happy about it, I felt kind of stupid for not having seen it coming. I worked for Lauriat’s Books years ago, so I have seen this movie before. as much as I loved my time at Borders; they are in real trouble.

in the P. W. Singer book “Wired For War” he talks about how disruptive technologies ‘clear the deck’ and shift the economic paradigm of an industry resulting in old players going out of business. he uses the music industry as the best example. it seemed almost over-night that the big record companies lost their stranglehold on the industry. the internet now makes possible access to any music, for free. some artists are even going their own way and working directly with their fans to ensure the music reaches them unfiltered. the best example I know of is Kristin Hersh with her Cash Music program.

he also talks about hybrid technology, and how companies and organizations that refuse to jump completely into the new technology layer it onto the old. an example given was the galeasses the Spanish used in the Armada in 1588. these were ships that had sails and oars; ugly and ineffective, the British sank them easily.

I think that bookstores are now in that same transition (we see it even more strongly now in newspapers). products like Kindle and the Sony e-Reader are precursors to an outright change to digital as the kids of today have no affiliation for physical books. it is only a matter of time until a school system decides that rather than load their kids down with 300 pounds of books, they can just give them an already loaded digital reader. I had kids in the last few years choose not to order summer reading books because they could just download them.

as for me; I am looking into my options. it has been growing in the back of my mind for some time that retail is no longer the career for me. I need to do something more helpful to society. this economy being what it is, I find those opitons limited.

during vacation I also read “For Us The Living” by Robert Heinlein. in his future society the people are given a governement stipend, and they can choose whether to work or not. the basic reason for the creation of the stipend is that as technology increasingly replaced the need for actual human workers, there simply weren’t enough jobs for humans to do. that sent the economy into a depression, since people had no money to buy…you get the picture.

while I am not advocating outright for a stipend (yet), and let’s not talk about the political realities of the time, I do think we need to start a discussion about the situation we find ourselves in. if you look at the people who work making cars; they are losing their jobs, and those jobs will never come back. what are they going to do? I am lucky that my wife works for the Commonwealth of Mass. making enough that even if we have to sell our house we can afford to live somewhere else.

in any event; we had too much fun hanging out with the kids. I had the best fish and chips outside of the No-Name in Boston at a place on the Oceanside harbor. I think it was just called Oceanside Harbor Fish and Chips, but I could be wrong. we saw sea lions basking in the sun, and met quite a few puppies on our daily harbor walks, much to Zach’s approval. we even did Disneyland. all I can say is ; not the happiest place on earth. I did go on the Grizzly River Rapids, and survived. I am not a rollercoaster person by any means, but that was just right.

one other note; I read Verner Vinge’s “Rainbows End” during the vacation also. another amazing sci-fi book, set in the 2020’s, and may prove to be very prescient.

buddhist note

“I tried to shoot a thought, but the thought sunk/ nothing to do but scratch words in the dirt/ watch the water roll down” Soul Coughing, “Soft Serve”

I have been a practicing buddhist for several years. when asked what that involves, I have had trouble explaining it. after mediatating on this curious problem, I realized that part of my problem was that I tried to put things in simple terms, or tried to wrap the imagery up so that a Christian could relate to it. in either case, the operative word is try. rather than simply answer the question I wanted to put the best possible spin on the answer.

part of that is my own deluded thinking. I feel the need for people to like me, or more importantly, to think I’m special or smart. most people go about their business without giving too much thought to that. I tend to obsess. my ego (“I”) needs to feel affirmation. the irony is that buddhism seeks to break down this I. you recognize that all things are made of the same essential substance, so there really is no difference between ‘you’ and ‘me’. we are simply transient forms of the same stuff.
_____

no Pandora tonight (it’s too late, and I don’t want to wake Robbin), but I leave you with this: 50 Foot Wave.

things I think about

in ancient times books were scribed in stalls after the customer paid. we may be headed back to a semblence of that model with print on demand. I don’t think it will be that much longer until we can take payment and then print (and bind) the book right there in the store. we’re already seeing that with multimedia and digital download centers.

a great book on the history of bookselling, told with feeling and an obvious love of bookstores is “The Yellow Lighted Bookshop” by Lewis Buzbee.

the singularity is near! damn you, Kurzweil, you keep me up at night.

always amazes me what sci-fi writers miss, and what they get. Asimov’s ‘First Law Of Robotics’ is a non-starter. at the same time Philip K. Dick nailed the dea of nanotechnology and self-replicating machines. I would also like to find any books by fm-2030 yes; this is my newest obsession. and on this topic; the Hob storyline of Dresden Codak…

‘Slan’ by van Vogt is a wonderful book

the last book in Jordan’s ‘Wheel Of Time’ series is due out this fall!

I have been to many shows/concerts, but most of my early/mid 20’s are too hazy to recall alot of them. the memories usually leak out at odd times. I was giving a presentation in a Mythology class at Bridgewater when I had the strong realization that I had a toe broken at Ralph’s Chadwick Square Diner during a Public Works show five years before, and feeling the anger over having not worn my Docs that night.

I never took hockey seriously enough when I played it. on the other hand, if I stuck with it and made it to the pros I would be retiring about now.

after watching so many true crime shows I wonder how anyone can get away with a crime, and why they are so stupid. then my social conscience kicks in and I’m a Liberal again.

as a buddhist I find the idea of blogging difficult. it is very ego-affirming. ‘who is this ‘I’ that blogs?’ don’t know…

the dogs look at us like we’re crazy when we clean the house.

no pandora today; listening to Airborne Toxic Event (thanks, tine!).

steal this post!

I had a bunch of things planned to write about. they were going to be brilliant and funny. witty. instead something came up at work, and I’ve forgotten them all. pardon me while I vent…

after working retail for the better part of 15 years, you would think I’ve become immune to theft. and yes; over the years I’ve seen just about any kind of dishonest behavior you could imagine. from employees scamming gift cards to ‘customers’ trucking armloads of product out the door. but as time has gone on, I find myself taking these things much more personally. maybe I’m becoming a grumpy old man, but the question I find myself asking is: “What part of ‘not yours’ do you not get?”.

any time somone walks out the door with unpaid product you are literally taking food out of someone’s mouth. in this economy especially any loss can tip the store’s balance sheet too far, and lead to someone being let go. perhaps that sounds a bit overly dramatic, but when you don’t have that item that someone is looking for that is one less sale you can make. not only do you lose the product as ’shrink’ because the vendor still needs payment, but there is the added loss of the sale not happening. so a $20 cd costs you that $20 up front, then the added cost of a replacement, then the added cost of the customer not buying it. you need to sell $40 in merchandise to make up for that $20 item.

the products most likely to walk in our store are manga and multimedia. manga is taken by teens and preteens set free to roam the mall by parents who should know better. neither of my kids was allowed free reign to wander the mall like herd animals. Friday nights are the worst, and each Friday has at least one teen bounced from the store for being, well, stupid.

multimedia (movies and music) is generally taken by teams of people. they have lookouts and well-oiled routines. they take several hundred dollars worth at a pop. by the time they are caught they have usually hit you up for a lot of money. they generally take the items that everyone is looking for, and that really hurts. everyone does their best to catch them, but it’s hard.

well; enough of that. I’ll try to post something more normal in the next couple of days.

I’m happy that Leah is off Top Chef. they waited far too long, in my opinion!

started reading ‘Wired For War’ by P. W. Singer. very well written look at robotics and the military.

on pandora; ‘peace attack’ by sonic youth, ‘where is my mind’ by the pixies. haven’t heard the pixies in a while! good stuff.

clearing out the bookshelf

just finished Jack McDevitt’s “Odyssey”. If you like a good sci-fi story that doesn’t over-kill with the science then I highly suggest him. he really knows his stuff, but doesn’t club you over the head with technical things. “Engines Of God” is the first book.

before that was “Monty Python’s Tunisian Holiday” by Kim Howard Johnson. he was the head of an American Python fan club, and was able to spend time in Tunisia with the group as they were filming “Life Of Brian”. a good look behind the scenes of the filming, with some really good pictures. it was fun to see how they interacted with each other, and to see some of their personalities.

more sf/fantasy that I’ve read lately:
“Hunter’s Prayer” by Lilith Saintcrow. this is the second book in her Jill Kismet series, her new series after Dante Valentine. part of the new ‘nightside’ genre of vampires and demons and nasty night-things. think Kim Harrison or Simon Green. Saintcrow has much more action than the others, and handles it very well. the action can be intense, and her heroine Jill Kismet (like Dante Valentine in the previous series) kicks ass, quite literally! my only question is why she doesn’t have borders.com linked on her site, I mean; she’s got bn.com, and we’re way cooler…

“Nagash The Sorcerer” by Mike Lee, in the Warhammer books. I admit it; I like the Warhammer novels. they’re the Harlequin of fantasy. quick and easy to read, lots of blood, and no one is happy at the end. I was hoping to like this book as it deals with Nagash, a character always talked about with fear. but this book was frustrating. especially the lay-out. Mike Lee, the author, has each chapter jumpr to different times in Nagash’s life. a great convention if it fits the story. in this case it didn’t. it would have been a solid book as a straight story.

history books of late:
“Edward the Black Prince” by David Green. The Black Prince was the son of Edward III. for those of you who read “Pillars of the Earth” he was the son of Isabella. he was the grandson of Ed. II (big suprise) who was the king during “Braveheart”. for those who are unfamiliar with either reference, he lived in the mid to late 1300’s, dying in 1376. he was credited with a dramatic win at the Battle of Crecy during the 100 Years War, most notable because it was the first use of the longbow in battle. since he was several generations after Richard Lionheart this puts a nail in the Robinhood coffin. longbows simply did not exist during the time of Richard.

“Cradle King” by Allan Stewart. a good look at King James VI and I, son of Mary Queen of Scots, successor to Elizabeth.

currently reading:
I’m going to opick up a copy of “Wired For War” by Singer. a look at the use of military robotics past, present and future.

the books I’m reading right now are “An Ocean Of Dharma” by Chogyam Trungpa. broken up into daily readings, it boils down his wisdom and the idea of ‘Warriorship’ in the buddhist sense. I’ll have to go into that later!

“Each Moment Is The Universe” by Katagiri Roshi. Katagiri breaks down Dogen Zenji’s concept of time in the buddhist sense. he can be confusing at times, but an instructive look.

“Compass Of Zen” by Seung Sahn. this I’m re-reading. it is a great look at the three branches of buddhism (hinayana, mahayana and zen), and the main teachings of each. clear and concise. I generally don’t read alot of buddhist books. there is a saying that ‘he who looks for the dhrama in the depths loses it in the shallows’, and another that ‘the tao that is written is not the true tao’. buddhism is before thought. again; a topic for later!

on pandora: ‘the constant lover’ by magenta lane, then ‘call me’ by throwing muses.

from last night

Lorazepam really kicked in. difficult to get up the stairs. not much energy left for reading tonight, but I’ll try to get a short bit of Trungpa’s “Ocean Of Dharma” in.

Closed alone tonight; the other supervisor called out. not bad for a Friday in the mall as far as they go.

we’ll try to get plane tickets to California to see the kids this weekend. pardon me; “Hate My Way” by TM (Throwing Muses) came on, so I have to step away for a couple minutes…

…that’s better! great shit.

so; we’re trying to get plane tickets to San Diego to see the kids on Camp Pendleton before they pack up and ship out to Japan. we need to move over some money from savings to checking, but can’t because the password to the account was forgotten, and now we’re locked out for a couple of days. up early to call the bank and fix it; so much for sleeping in!

John Updike passed away this week. another titan of American literature. no offense; I find him unreadable, but I understand he was a nice guy. it seemed that his writing was so erudite and over people’s heads that they felt they had to say they liked him to avoid looking bad. which is kind of funny because Dickens is my favorite author. but Dickens never felt like he was writing over people; just using the language of his day. I think Vonnegut was a huge loss, and I appreciate his use of language and imagery.

after Throwing Muses was “Throw Aggi Off The Bridge” by Black Tambourine. reminded me of the Vaselines, but much better instrumentation and production. Belly is on now, “Super-Connected”. I reccomend Pandora Radio; its great to leave on while you’re doing anything on the computer. then again, if you’re easily distracted it may not be such a great idea. takes me a while to get things done here!